1 p.m.
Ive made it to one and no show of AF.
Its now 6 P.M.... nothing. Not a cramp or tint of blood at all.
7:11 P.M.
I cheated and peed on a test I snuck with me. What a frigging dissapointment!! - - - - - - - Or at least I think it was. I looked and looked and looked (which every test instruction paper says is a bad thing if you have to search) and then I had a little heart flutter.... IS IT THERE??
I took it and marked where I thought I saw a shadow of a line and then brought up a picture of someone else's positive so I could compare lines and WTH!! I actually marked it RIGHT where the line is/or should be if I had in fact imagined it. I cant see it now, cause DUH, I marked the line with red marker then realized that it would bleed into the tests line and make it more pink... a lie pink.
So I cut the tips off where I marked it. And now Im back to being skeptical.
GRRRRR!!!
Im reading all sorts of crap online about it being a fading positive which is actually a negative. That a positive should be + for at LEAST 48 hours and not fade out. I have no clue now. My BBs are still sore and huge. CM is wet with bits of creaminess. CP is still high and medium. I dont know what to think. Im tired today but I was up most of the night, so Im not taking that into account.
I keep thinking that Im starting to feel back pain and cramps like AF. Im so scared. I dont want to TTC for another month! I know we have just just started but still! I dont want to wait and I think that stupid + (or whatever the hell it was) has made me anxious and hopeful. I was already counting the days and how far I would be for different dates... Silly me. Im sure that AF will be here tonight or tommorow morning. :(
More tomorrow!
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Monday, February 27, 2012
Cruel HPTs!!
I tested last night on a total whim ....
BFP???
Really?? I mean it showed up right right away. No waiting for the whole ten mins. It was there, faint and pink. I wandered around the house in a daze until I got the courage up to ask DH if he saw what I saw. He said he saw two lines!! EEEKKK!!\
So then I posted on BabyAndBump and EVERYONE is congratulating me. EVERYONE is saying its positive. I even think it was or is or could have been.... Im not even sure what the hell it was/is/could be at this point. I went to bed thinking that I was brewing a baby.. that I was gonna be a Mommy :)
I get up this morning and look at the test, even though I know that the rule is to not read test results after the ten minute mark. The line was basically gone. WTF???
It was a faint faint line and wasnt the whole way across the + area from side to side to begin with but when I got up this morning it was just the middle that was still pink-ish. I freaked out. I ripped the plastic case off the test strip to look at it and sure enough the middle of the + line was still visibly pink. The rest of it had faded out though. I have googled THE SHIT out of it all day and I cant find a reason why it would go pink then fade out. Basically it might have been a bad test or it might have been splash (although the hCG would only show if it was in the urine, regardless of splash or not).
Of course I couldnt help myself and went to check the mail today and my HPTs from the internet were there, thank god!!
I ran home and didnt bother to pick up anymore (I had 2 extra sensitive and 2 regular ones) cause I figured I was set. I would just calmly drive home and use the regular one and get my BFP.
NOT HOW IT WENT.
I ended up using 3 of the 4 test and then thinking 'They must be a bad batch" and ran into town to get some legit ones.
I get home with 90$ in HPTs, three different kinds, to be exact. I rip open the FRER 6 day ( like the one I got my + on last night) and confident that Im going to just be able to laugh this all off, I POAS.
NOTHING NOTHING NOTHING.... Seriously?? What the HELL!!!
Im so confused and I actually lied to DH about testing again today. He asked if we got two lines again and I told him I was going to wait till I got back from working out of town before I tested again. I packed all the party favors incase AF shows but Im so desperatly hoping that she doesnt!! I cant imagine the low I might have to feel tomorrow if I get AF. UGHHHHHH!!!!
My BBs are HUGE today and started getting sore last night (tiny tiny bit) and then today they are super sore to brush against. I am hungry more and getting full faster. Smells are stronger, or so they seem. Im cramping on and off and have been since yesterday evening. CP is still high and firm/medium and was watery but now its more or less dry. CO is still feeling like its open. I have a wicked sick tummy tonight. Ive been in and out of the bathroom with terrible bowel cramps. Still no AF even though I have loose BMs. Im scared to wipe and see blood. I dont really have AF cramps right now but I dont know if I could feel them over the bowel cramps.
Im basically making myself crazy and Im sure that tomorrow I will feel like an ass for showing DH the test last night. I should have waited till I was late late.
On to next month and some PreSeed I guess.... I am counting myself pitifully out :(
BFP???
Really?? I mean it showed up right right away. No waiting for the whole ten mins. It was there, faint and pink. I wandered around the house in a daze until I got the courage up to ask DH if he saw what I saw. He said he saw two lines!! EEEKKK!!\
So then I posted on BabyAndBump and EVERYONE is congratulating me. EVERYONE is saying its positive. I even think it was or is or could have been.... Im not even sure what the hell it was/is/could be at this point. I went to bed thinking that I was brewing a baby.. that I was gonna be a Mommy :)
I get up this morning and look at the test, even though I know that the rule is to not read test results after the ten minute mark. The line was basically gone. WTF???
It was a faint faint line and wasnt the whole way across the + area from side to side to begin with but when I got up this morning it was just the middle that was still pink-ish. I freaked out. I ripped the plastic case off the test strip to look at it and sure enough the middle of the + line was still visibly pink. The rest of it had faded out though. I have googled THE SHIT out of it all day and I cant find a reason why it would go pink then fade out. Basically it might have been a bad test or it might have been splash (although the hCG would only show if it was in the urine, regardless of splash or not).
Of course I couldnt help myself and went to check the mail today and my HPTs from the internet were there, thank god!!
I ran home and didnt bother to pick up anymore (I had 2 extra sensitive and 2 regular ones) cause I figured I was set. I would just calmly drive home and use the regular one and get my BFP.
NOT HOW IT WENT.
I ended up using 3 of the 4 test and then thinking 'They must be a bad batch" and ran into town to get some legit ones.
I get home with 90$ in HPTs, three different kinds, to be exact. I rip open the FRER 6 day ( like the one I got my + on last night) and confident that Im going to just be able to laugh this all off, I POAS.
NOTHING NOTHING NOTHING.... Seriously?? What the HELL!!!
Im so confused and I actually lied to DH about testing again today. He asked if we got two lines again and I told him I was going to wait till I got back from working out of town before I tested again. I packed all the party favors incase AF shows but Im so desperatly hoping that she doesnt!! I cant imagine the low I might have to feel tomorrow if I get AF. UGHHHHHH!!!!
My BBs are HUGE today and started getting sore last night (tiny tiny bit) and then today they are super sore to brush against. I am hungry more and getting full faster. Smells are stronger, or so they seem. Im cramping on and off and have been since yesterday evening. CP is still high and firm/medium and was watery but now its more or less dry. CO is still feeling like its open. I have a wicked sick tummy tonight. Ive been in and out of the bathroom with terrible bowel cramps. Still no AF even though I have loose BMs. Im scared to wipe and see blood. I dont really have AF cramps right now but I dont know if I could feel them over the bowel cramps.
Im basically making myself crazy and Im sure that tomorrow I will feel like an ass for showing DH the test last night. I should have waited till I was late late.
On to next month and some PreSeed I guess.... I am counting myself pitifully out :(
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Cycle #2, CD 10
I havent been able to sneak away and update this in a while. DH is home full time now and BabyMaking is in full swing. We have been talking alot about the whole experiance and buying a whole bunch of baby stuff.... boy and girl. I told him that I think a boy would be nice. We have a whole load of names picked out too. Now just the getting pregnant part we have to focus on.
I ordered OPKs from the intrnet and have been using them since CD 1. Very very early but I didnt want to miss anything. I had no idea if I O'ed early or not and I thought that starting the tests right away would help me figureit out. I have been checking CP and CO still but definatly not as obsessivly. I have been going back thorough my apps and seeing what days and symptoms make sense with all the reading that I have been doing. Im learning lots about the different hormones and how they relate to the sympotms that Ive had or thought that I have had. Its kinda interesting to already be seeing a pattern. I can see where my body starts producing more progesterone and how it affects the way my BBs get sore. I think that last cycle was a good one, and we would have made a baby if DH was home during O. I saw that he was home and we BD'ed diring the right time in December but I think that my body still isnt producing the optimum kind or amount of CM.. This time I have upped our chances with Zestica. Its a fertility lubricant that mimics EWCM and should provide his swimmers with a little slippery help :)
I ordered OPKs from the intrnet and have been using them since CD 1. Very very early but I didnt want to miss anything. I had no idea if I O'ed early or not and I thought that starting the tests right away would help me figureit out. I have been checking CP and CO still but definatly not as obsessivly. I have been going back thorough my apps and seeing what days and symptoms make sense with all the reading that I have been doing. Im learning lots about the different hormones and how they relate to the sympotms that Ive had or thought that I have had. Its kinda interesting to already be seeing a pattern. I can see where my body starts producing more progesterone and how it affects the way my BBs get sore. I think that last cycle was a good one, and we would have made a baby if DH was home during O. I saw that he was home and we BD'ed diring the right time in December but I think that my body still isnt producing the optimum kind or amount of CM.. This time I have upped our chances with Zestica. Its a fertility lubricant that mimics EWCM and should provide his swimmers with a little slippery help :)
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